I grew up with a tough mother, what you’d call lelo. She was hard on me and my sister (still hard on us) but she would easily get square with anyone who messed with us. And she was not alone. Which means me and my cousins got into very few fights and me having only ever been in three physical fights at a personal level.
One time I was in primary four. A tall fellow kept picking on me. He’d come at me when he was bored and raff me up, hit my head one too many times and steal my snack allowance ( pesa ya break). One day as he was beating me up in front of the other kids, he forgot himself and mentioned my mom in his gloat. I couldn’t have that so I picked up a very sharp stone and sent it flying to his head. As soon as blood started trickling down his face, I ran. I ran like hell. He never bothered me since that day.
Another time was in high school. A classmate wronged me in some way. I don’t remember too well what it was all about but it had me landing a huge rock on his back. Of cause, he roundhouse kicked my butt.
The other time was at a football game. A couple of friends and i were playing ajwala and some kid tackled me badly. I swung at him with Thor’s might. At first it was an impulse, an act of rage but seconds into it I realized he wasn’t fighting back or defending himself for that much. Thank God he did not because he could have crushed me. He was way bigger than me and I reckon way stronger. I felt bad after that.In all these fights you can pick up two things about me. One, my anger will get the better of me one day and two, am as Jewish as luos come.
I have only ever known to fight because and for my rage so seeing my mother sit beside my hospital bed and fighting back her tears so hard, I was sad. I remember thinking, “This strong woman has fought for me my whole life, its time I took the fight”. That was right in the middle of me entertaining the thought of suicide.
On a Thursday morning, I walked up to the hospital for a consultation. Little did I know that I wasn’t going back home that day. The good doctor after examining me decided that I was to be admitted immediately. Everything happened so fast and I found myself in a hospital ward with a tag on my wrist. Soon I was being drip-fed with loads of drugs. The pain got worse.
Eight months before the hospital I woke up with a swollen toe. Not painful, just swollen. I thought little of it. I didn’t know that the monster was just setting in. Gradually the swell went to my finger. The one finger, again I wasn’t alarmed. As time went by, the pains started setting in and my knees started swelling. That’s when I got scared and started doing my due diligence. I scavenged the internet for any information on arthritis and with every information I consumed, a little fear came along with it. The symptoms manifested rapidly and on occasion, I would lose function on one hand for hours. I panicked and that’s when I started visiting physicians.
I did a lot of tests but the doctors couldn’t find conclusive results on what exactly to treat. See, this ailment has a lot of subs and each has a specific medication. Which means the doctors couldn’t treat me except to pump me with painkillers. The symptoms change tact and now my throat was swollen. I could not even swallow my own saliva without agony. And then my eye muscles began to ache. A simple glance at bright light would send such pains to my nerves. Then my cardiac system was compromised. According to the doctor, I had a swell just next to my heart. It was painful just breathing.
I got tired of it all. Right there in that hospital bed, I was ready to end it. I had made peace with death. I tried holding my breath for the whole run but my heart would start beating so hard and set the pain back on track. I had to come up with another way. So I decided that I would pull out the plastic syringe on my arm and just bleed out. I figured it would take me like one hour to drain my body completely. But I didn’t go through with it. I fought.
I fought for my life. And for the first time, I fought not for fear or for anger. I just fought for life and I won. I may be subjected to medications for the rest of my life but I won. And winning is not bad at all.
Also, as I am catching you up on my timeline, I graduated from school. I mean, I never really got to attend my graduation but hey, that’s another win for me nonetheless. I caught with the flash and the drama in Central city. Apparently, the timeline is malleable. Now that you’re all caught up, what have you been doing lately?
Captain Babosa 